


I'm Bad At Love, But You Can't Blame Me For Trying

by QueenofTheCartsonTrashcan



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:58:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofTheCartsonTrashcan/pseuds/QueenofTheCartsonTrashcan
Summary: Jack wants her forgiveness. And he finally gets it.(Title: Bad At Love by Halsey)





	I'm Bad At Love, But You Can't Blame Me For Trying

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having a little bit of a writer's block for nearly two months, until an idea suddenly hit me. I wanted something romantic, but non-romantic, and this was born. Enjoy.

He likes her. Damn, he really does.  
Despite how much of an asshole he acts like when she is around, he couldn't have liked her more. He felt guilty for that. She deserves much better than him, although Jack knew Peggy would never ever choose him over anyone, especially after what he had done to her. Kept hurting her, lying to get the credit for what she has done and not him, and being very rude to her.  
But after what she did in Russia, he couldn't help but admire her. She saved his life, and that was something what made him owe everything to her. Anyway, that is when he realised she is one hell of a woman. When he froze, she helped him.  
And so, Jack was in love with her, and he hated himself for that.  
Mainly because Peggy Carter was Captain America's best girl, and Jack was nothing like Steve Rogers. He had no features Peggy could ever possibly fall in love with. He was disrespectful, and got milted in the cruelty of the war, and as much as he tried stop acting like that, he always made things worse. It was like a vicious circle.  
He wanted to prove Peggy that he isn't as bad and cruel as she thinks so, while Peggy was trying to prove him (and all of them) that she is worthy of the title "Agent", but Jack knew that, he was aware that she is the best agent at the SSR, and without peradventure better than all of the agents counted together. She deserved to be here more than anyone, yet they treated her like a secretary, which made Jack choke in his own self-hatred.  
But Thompson felt relieved after they got back from Russia, he thought that event fixed up their relationship, even if just a tiny bit, it was still better than it used to be. Then it turned out Peggy was a traitor.   
Dammit, Jack felt like a fool, but somewhere deep inside, he wanted to believe her. If she really was a traitor, she would've let him killed. But she didn't. And so, Jack tried to help her, but she didn't accept his help. The only thing he could do is believe her, until it turns out she didn't betray the office and thank God he didn't have to wait too much for that.  
However, ever since then, Jack was haunted by his own demons. What if Peggy really doesn't see the good in him? What if she reckons that he is all rotten? What if Jack REALLY IS rotten, with no good manners? He could still remember Peggy's first day at the office. He greeted her with a "Welcome to the SSR. I'd like a cheese-ham sandwich, with salad and without tomatos. And a cup of black coffee. Thanks, sugar". If he could change that, he completely would.  
Although he knew Peggy would never ever go out with him, never ever would accept anything related to him and never ever would be able to love him, Jack wanted to ask for her forgiveness. If he could only get that, that would be an advancement. A huge one. So Jack had to try. Now or never.  
One evening, one beautiful evening, after a vague amount of bourbon, Jack Thompson decided go give Peggy Carter a visit at her own home. Since she wasn't living in the Griffith anymore, there was no one who could stop him from this incredibly foolish and probably suicidal plan, so he got a cab, and told the driver the woman's address, then as soon as he was there, he knocked on her door. There's no way back now.  
The door opened soon, and there she was. She was wearing a black-pink robe, her hair was rolled on her head with hair-curlers, on her face there was no make-up, but she was bloody beautiful as always.   
Her facial expression showed how shocked she was by his appearance, and she wasn't even trying to hide it, because she was very confused.  
"Thompson?" Peggy asked with a quiet voice and looked at him, holding the door tightly in her hands in case anything happens she can slap the door in his face.  
"Hey, Peggy. Could we talk?" he asked politely, and Peggy couldn't help but get more dumbfounded. No Carter, no Marge, no stupid nicknames that always make her so incredibly annoyed, just...just Peggy?  
"Um...alright, but can't it wait until tomorrow? Y'know it's already 8 pm on a Wednesday night. And we've got to go to work tomorrow, and God help me if I'm late you are definitely going to slay me" she said, with that melodious English accent of hers, which made Jack find himself trying to hide his smile. He didn't really succeed.  
"No, not really, I...I needed to talk to you now. Can I come in?" he asked hopefully while looking into her warm, brown eyes, which reflected a huge amount of confusion at the moment.  
Peggy answered with an uncertain nod as she flinged the door open for Jack. As soon as he stepped into the room, Peggy could smell bourbon and a surprisingly pleasant flavoured aftershave, which made her even more curious of what the hell he could possibly want from her.  
"You may wanna sit down" he looked at her, Peggy crossed her arms over her chest.  
"I'm good" she answered curtly "So, again, what do you want?"  
Jack's face was suddenly filled with fright and weakness, just for a moment, for a moment that Peggy was able to catch. He was like a scared little kid, who just broke her mother's favourite vase, and is afraid to confess. Now Peggy was very afraid of what he wanted to say, she prepared for the worst, and just waited for Jack to finally rip that bloody band-aid off "I am sorry" he said eventually.  
The woman flinched from him. "Wait...what? For what?"  
"For everything I have ever said to you that hurt you. We all underestimated you, we are so dumb, I mean...Gosh Peggy, you are incredible, and you know that too, don't you? This is why I am sorry for saying what I have in the past. You are not a freaking secretary who takes coffee and lunch orders, you are an agent, I want you to know that you are the best at the SSR, and...and I am sorry, Peggy. Can you forgive me?" he gabbled so quickly, that Peggy could barely even catch the point of his little speech.  
She couldn't believe it. Jack Thompson, THE Jack Thompson is apologizing for his behaviour? No, that cannot be. However, Peggy was touched. She didn't want to admit it, but what he said loaded her with happiness, for an unknownable reason.  
"You're drunk, Jack" her face seemed delighted, but her voice was soft and for some reason quite sorrowful.  
Jack suddenly took both of her hands, squeezed them gently and basically forced her to look in his eyes "I needed some courage to finally tell you this. I'm sorry" the man repeated, with a miserable tone in his note "But what I said, I really, really mean it. Can you forgive me?" he asked once again, letting go of her soft hands.  
Peggy got lost in his eyes, just for a short and innocent moment. They were beautifully grey-ish, somewhat spiced with different shades of blue. They were shining, and his pupils were looking directly into hers.  
"Yes, I forgive you" she said quietly "This is why you came all the way here?"  
"Yes"  
Peggy's lips formed a gentle smile and she patted his shoulder "Thank you, Jack, that's...very sweet of you, but...why?" she asked "Why did you...want to share this with me? Furthermore now?"  
"Well, I just needed you to know this. Because I've been acting like a prick" he sighed.  
"Yes, then that's something we both agree with... But again, thank you, this means a lot. Anyway, I will call you a cab, so sit down on the couch" she said and buzzed off to her telephone.  
Jack was diving into his own thoughts as long as she was gone, he was thinking about her reaction, he finally felt forgiven and that is what he wanted for a very long time now. He hoped they can develop their relationship to a level where maybe she would like him too...but of course that was just daydreaming. Still, he had to try.  
He was thinking for a long time, until he started falling asleep on her couch, leaning on the left side of his and sleeping as peacefully as a little kid when he finally found his home.  
"Jack? The cab is...here..." Peggy returned soon, and paused as she glanced at the sleeping agent, then walked to him and shook his shoulder, basically for nothing. He was out like a light. "Oh for Heaven's sake.." Peggy murmured in heaviness, and went back to the cab to pay him the way there. She walked back into the room again, placing a blanket on him and a pillow under his head, then brushing away a curl of hair from his face and maybe stroking his forehead for a longer time then she should have been, when she noticed a gentle smile appearing on the man's face, but just for one single, insensible moment.  
Peggy shook her head in disbelief (she was smiling, that should be noted) and let out a tired sigh, then finally went to her own room to finally catch some sleep.


End file.
